
【關係療癒專欄】每個孩子,都需要被愛
文 / 關係療癒師 史庭瑋Mia
每個孩子,都需要「被愛」,
這個「被愛」,是孩子「能感受到」的愛,
而非父母想給的愛。
把孩子當成獨立個體,給予孩子想要的愛,
而非控制他們的思想或靈魂,
孩子就更能愛自己,擁有愛、付出愛、給予愛。
分享紀伯倫《論孩子》這首詩,
令人動容的一首詩,值得用心感受。
《論孩子》紀伯倫
你們的孩子,並不是你們的孩子,
他們是生命對自身渴求的兒女。
他們借你們而來,卻不是因你們而來,
儘管他們在你們身邊,卻不屬於你們。
你們可以把你們的愛給予他們,卻不能給予思想,
因為他們有自己的思想。
你們可以蔭庇他們的身體,卻不能蔭庇他們的靈魂,
因為他們的靈魂,棲息於明日之屋,那是你們在夢中也不能想見的。
你們可以努力去模仿他們,卻不能企圖讓他們像你,
因為生命是不倒行的,也不會停留在昨日。
你們是弓,你們的孩子是從弦上發出的生命的箭矢。
那射者在無窮之中看定了目標,用力將你彎曲,
使他的箭矢迅疾而遙遠地射了出去。
讓你們欣然在射者手中的彎曲吧!
因為他既愛飛馳的箭,也愛穩健的弓。
《英文原文》
On Children
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thought
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their soul
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
But seek not to make them like you,
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
As living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
And He bends you with His might,
That His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
So He loves also the bow that is stable.
《論孩子》是由黎巴嫩詩人紀伯倫所寫。這首詩的題目雖為《論孩子》,具體內容卻是論父母之道的。 詩人從根本上否定了父母把孩子視為私有物、附屬物的觀念,指出孩子是獨立的,是與父母平等的個體,父母只能給孩子以愛,卻不能代替他們思想、靈魂的形成。 這種思想仍有啟發意義。